Data science related funny quotes

Question

It has been customary for the users of different communities to quote funny things about their fields. It may be fun to share your funny things about Machine Learning, Deep Learning, Data Science and the things that you face every day!

Not quite data science, as it's more data management & archiving, but see https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N2zK3sAtr-4 — Joe, Dec 15 '18 at 23:36
I like this, but really, does this belong here? Maybe it's better off on the Meta. — Mr Lister, Dec 16 '18 at 14:55
related: https://stats.stackexchange.com/questions/1337/statistics-jokes and https://stats.stackexchange.com/questions/423/what-is-your-favorite-data-analysis-cartoon — moooeeeep, Dec 17 '18 at 07:30
**Question:** What's the different between machine learning and AI? **Answer:** If it's written in Python, then it's probably machine learning. If it's written in PowerPoint, then it's probably AI. — iBug, Dec 17 '18 at 04:47
[![enter image description here](https://i.stack.imgur.com/BW46w.png)](https://i.stack.imgur.com/BW46w.png) — Mr Lister, Dec 16 '18 at 15:09
How many epochs will we need to find ourselves in an epoch (Hellenic meaning), where the machine learning algorithm can make good jokes, to post here? — gsamaras, Dec 18 '18 at 10:45
Anyone want to comment on why my answer was converted to a comment? None of the criteria listed in the help center seem to apply, and frankly it seems a bit rude to do in what seems to intended as a "fun" question? — jkf, Dec 19 '18 at 03:38
@jkf the moderators have the ability, power, strength, force, capability, right and intention to make the short answers to comments. They are powerful creatures. You also can track the [boxing match](https://datascience.meta.stackexchange.com/q/2396/28175). — Green Falcon, Dec 19 '18 at 08:36
Look at [www.facebook.com/trustmeimadatascientist](https://www.facebook.com/trustmeimadatascientist) and [www.facebook.com/trustmeimastatistician](https://www.facebook.com/trustmeimastatistician) — Yossi Levy, Dec 19 '18 at 12:37

score 43 · Answer 1 · answered Dec 14 '18 at 15:31

43

Q: How many machine learning specialists does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Just one, but they require a million light bulbs to train properly.

Q: How many machine learning specialists does it take to change a fluorescent light bulb?

A: That wasn't in the training data!

answered Dec 14 '18 at 15:31

Nuclear Hoagie

1,241
7
9

5

I usually find light bulb jokes boring, but this one is cool :D – Jérémy Blain Dec 14 '18 at 15:38
3

@JérémyBlain All the other light bulb jokes were training - we now have to rerun them with this as a model. – Lio Elbammalf Dec 18 '18 at 14:19

score 33 · Answer 2 · answered Dec 14 '18 at 15:01

33

Neural Network are not black boxes. They are a big pile of linear algebra :

image from xkcd

answered Dec 14 '18 at 15:01

Jérémy Blain

1,032
7
10

1

Ah, yes, there is xkcd about everything! – val - disappointed in SE Dec 14 '18 at 20:47

Bruno Lubascher · Answer 3 · 2018-12-18T15:53:46.097

15

I find this funny because it's true.

source

Cute funny...

This one always cracks me up for no reason...

edited Dec 18 '18 at 15:53

answered Dec 16 '18 at 12:02

Bruno Lubascher

3,488
1
11
35

1

But but but, the bar with the large uncertainty is the only one I trust. Who would trust someone who claims to be absolutely sure of everything, rather than the one who rightly puts in a realistic level of uncertainty? – gerrit Dec 16 '18 at 12:41
1

The first one is a twist on [XKCD #303](https://xkcd.com/303/) without reference to the source. – molnarm Dec 18 '18 at 11:06

sds · Answer 4 · 2018-12-18T15:06:48.447

15

If you torture data long enough, it will tell you whatever you want to hear.
Statistics shows that statistics cannot be trusted.

edited Dec 18 '18 at 15:06

answered Dec 16 '18 at 18:26

sds

352
2
16

So laconic and true! – gsamaras Dec 18 '18 at 10:39

score 13 · Answer 5 · answered Dec 15 '18 at 21:21

Frequentists vs. Bayesians

Transcript:

Did the sun just explode?
(It's night, so we're not sure)

[[Two statisticians stand alongside an adorable little computer that is suspiciously similar to K-9 that speaks in Westminster typeface]]
Frequentist Statistician: This neutrino detector measures whether the sun has gone nova.
Bayesian Statistician: Then, it rolls two dice. If they both come up as six, it lies to us. Otherwise, it tells the truth.
FS: Let's try. [[to the detector]] Detector! Has the sun gone nova?
Detector: <<roll>> YES.

Frequentist Statistician:
FS: The probability of this result happening by chance is $\frac1{36}=0.027$. Since $p< 0.05$, I conclude that the sun has exploded.

Bayesian Statistician:
BS: Bet you $50 it hasn't.

Title text:

'Detector! What would the Bayesian statistician say if I asked him whether the–' [roll] 'I AM A NEUTRINO DETECTOR, NOT A LABYRINTH GUARD. SERIOUSLY, DID YOUR BRAIN FALL OUT?' [roll] '... yes.'

score 13 · Answer 6 · answered Dec 17 '18 at 04:47

13

Question: What's the different between machine learning and AI?

Answer:

If it's written in Python, then it's probably machine learning.

If it's written in PowerPoint, then it's probably AI.

answered Dec 17 '18 at 04:47

iBug

121
5

this deserves more likes! so true!! – raspi Feb 01 '19 at 14:40

score 12 · Answer 7 · answered Dec 18 '18 at 11:35

12

Let me embrace thee, sour adversity, for wise men say it is the wisest course.

Yann Le Trump!

answered Dec 18 '18 at 11:35

TitoOrt

1,832
12
22

score 11 · Answer 8 · answered Dec 16 '18 at 08:41

Unsure whether they qualify, but there are some fun facts taken from various sources:

Beginning from Yann Lecun:

Geoff Hinton doesn't need to make hidden units. They hide by themselves when he approaches.
Geoff Hinton doesn't disagree with you, he contrastively diverges
(from Vincent Vanhoucke)
Shakespeare and Bayes are in a boat, fishing. Bayes is trying to figure out which net to cast when Shakespeare says: "loopy or not loopy? that is the question".
Deep Belief Nets actually believe deeply in Geoff Hinton.
Geoff Hinton discovered how the brain really works. Once a year for
the last 25 years.
Bayesians are the only people who can feel marginalized after being integrated

And now the legend:

One from Reddit:

YOLO: you only LEARN once

P.S: Ian Goodfellow and Jurgen Schmidhuber are co-authoring a paper (to be presented at NIPS 2019) on Inverse GANs (More jokes on the topic here)

score 11 · Answer 9 · answered Dec 18 '18 at 10:41

11

A Machine Learning algorithm walks into a bar.

The bartender asks, "What'll you have?"

The algorithm says, "What's everyone else having?"

answered Dec 18 '18 at 10:41

gsamaras

291
6
15

score 6 · Answer 10 · answered Dec 17 '18 at 04:31

6

"Predictions are hard -- especially about the future."

(Yogi Berra or Neils Bohr, depending whether you prefer physics or baseball)

answered Dec 17 '18 at 04:31

jkf

121
3

score 4 · Answer 11 · edited Jun 16 '20 at 11:08

4

A: What is machine learning sir? B: It is not machine learning! It is machine burning, man.

by Davide Mazzini

edited Jun 16 '20 at 11:08

Community

1

answered Dec 14 '18 at 14:37

Green Falcon

13,868
9
55
98

score 3 · Answer 12 · answered Dec 16 '18 at 22:48

3

In 2006, a common joke was that you would get an award for writing a paper that would either have "Karl Marx" or "Neural Network" in the title and get accepted at NIPS. Now that's become the standard for the latter... :D

answered Dec 16 '18 at 22:48

Jenny Reininger

111
2